Q: I’ve been living with my boyfriend for a year. We met on FetLife and I was honest about being in an open relationship (at the time) and seeking a sexual connection over a relationship. But one nut after another and pretty soon we were professing our love for each other and he shared that he wanted to be the father of my children. However, right before he moved in I found out he was still texting other women despite asking me not to text, sext, or have sex with any other men. He also regularly “yucks my yum” and makes fun of the types of porn I watch and calls it “gross” (my thing for cuckolding being his main target) and he also insists men can’t be friends with women, yet he’s still friends with women he’s had sex with. He hides the fact he is masturbating from me but expects to participate in all my masturbation sessions. He claims we have no sexual secrets but I snooped and learned he was looking at porn with titles like “TS,” “sissy,” “gay,” and “BBW Black.” It makes me feel small because of the nagging feeling I may not be his cup of tea since he hides these other interests from me while not allowing me to hide anything from him. I also worry that his “affection” for my black BBW ass may be no different than his objectification of trans women. He says he doesn’t want to “burden” me with “rapey” sex play but I am open to all kinds of sex, not just the softcore-porn type—so long as he doesn’t start by rubbing my boobs like they’re doorknobs. I am at my wits’ end. I already e-mailed an LGBTQIA+ friendly couples counselor because we are both scared the relationship will end. But I can’t keep turning a blind eye to his half-truths, double standards, and hypocrisy.—Feeling Extremely Tense
P.S. Please don’t let his shitty comments about your turn-ons lead you to doubt your desirability—just the fact that you’re into cuckolding makes you something of a prize, FET, as there are easily a hundred times as many men into cuckolding as there are women. It wouldn’t take you long to replace a guy who shames you for being into cuckolding with a guy who absolutely worships you for it.
Q: I’m a fit and healthy 66-year-old woman. (Vegan 53 years and have never been sick a day in my life!) I’ve been told I look 40ish—so not too bad! I was married for 20 years and then sat on the bench without so much as one date for 18 years because I was a hardworking single mom of three kids. So I met a guy about six years ago. I was dating around a bit at the time and figured he was too. Well, I later found out he had me “checked out and followed” and even hacked my computer, where he found a couple of sexy e-mails to another guy. We were not exclusive at the time and years later—six years later—he throws the details of one particular e-mail I sent to another in my face every chance he gets. He has actually told me he was dating other women when we first met. Of course he was! No big deal at all but it irks me that he hired someone to follow my every move! (He even accused me of getting paid for sex and said he had proof! Totally false!) We have been engaged and I am holding back from marrying him. Otherwise he is good to me. What’s the deal here?—Engaged Dame Grows Edgy
