Q: Something is bothering me and I don’t know where else to turn. I’m a bisexual man. I’ve been married to a great guy for the past six years. Despite COVID we gathered safely for an outdoors Thanksgiving dinner with my family. My mom, my brother and sister-in-law, and my adult nieces and nephews and their partners were there. Each household contributed to the feast and we had a wonderful evening. While my husband and I were snuggling in bed later he said that my casserole was a big hit thanks to the “secret ingredient.” When I asked what he meant, he informed me that he had deposited my come from a blow job he’d given me earlier that day in my half-finished casserole. When I asked why he did this, he said he thought it was hot and he was aroused watching my family ingest it. To me, this seems a bit twisted and feels like a deeply disrespectful act toward my family. Now I cannot sleep and it is impossible for me to think of anything else. I wish he had never told me. I am writing to you as I don’t know where else to turn. —Confused And Shuddering Sleeplessly, Entirely Revolted Over Loaded Entrée
But even if he did all of this—blew you, didn’t swallow, created a diversion, spat your semen into a casserole you planned to share with your entire family—would he tell you about it? The guy who was glazing his friend’s toothbrushes didn’t brag to his friends about it. He wrote to me about it, described it as a compulsion, and asked me how to stop. That your husband would be so clueless as to think you wouldn’t be revolted and upset by this is, if you’ll forgive me, a little hard to swallow. Still . . . your nieces and nephews are adults . . . so it’s possible you and your husband are getting up there in years . . . and he could be suffering from early-onset dementia; inappropriate sexual behavior and poor impulse control can be early symptoms.
There’s nothing wrong with ending a sexually exclusive relationship when the sex doesn’t work and your partner couldn’t care less that you’re unhappy and only grudgingly allows you to masturbate. As much as you love her, it’s not working and it’s only going to get worse. Eventually you’ll cheat on her out of sheer desperation and the breakup won’t just be painful, WHY, it will be messy and painful and you’ll be cast as the bad guy. Don’t wait for your dick to slam itself down on the self-destruct button. End it now.
