Q: I’m a woman who watches porn—we do exist—and I have a mad crush on a male porn star named Small Hands. Unfortunately, his videos focus less on his handsome face and more on some girl’s ass. Do! Not! Want! Is there a way to ask a porn star to please make a few movies in a certain way? I would like to see some movies that feature less of her and more of him! —Salivating About Male Performer’s Lovely Exterior
Regardless of whose ass it is, SAMPLE, you want to see less girl ass and more Small Hands face. Could he make that happen for you?
“It’s really meant to drive the porn industry out of California under the guise of performer safety,” said Small Hands. “Among the other problems with this thing is that it could make performers’ private information public. So it’s not really about our safety at all.”
Before I let Small Hands get off the phone, I had to ask him about his nom de porn. How did “Small Hands” become his porn name?
A: She may be a reader, PHOTO, but you’re clearly not. Because I’m on her side, not yours, which any regular reader could have predicted. Someone sharing photos of herself at the beach, in bed, out of the shower, etc, doesn’t entitle you to her panties any more than someone sharing photos from her colonoscopy entitles you to her turds. There’s no shortage of women online selling their panties, PHOTO. Direct your inquiries to them.
